Marital Counseling

Going through a rough season that is effecting the quality of relationship with your spouse?

Weary about the difficult communication between you and your partner?

 Struggling to find balance amidst life demands and relationship needs?

I am passionate about relationships and in particular partnering relationships in marriage and commitment.  It is a beautiful thing when two people come together to commit to a life-long journey and partnership.  Couples come for counseling for a variety of reasons from sharpening communication skills to developing techniques to manage life stressors, transitions and different life seasons.  My hope and goal is to join couples in their journey and desire to strengthen and deepen the bond and intimacy of their partnership. 

Partnerships present us with an interesting challenge and opportunity to grow.  At the core of the human condition is the fight to surrender one’s own agenda and desires in order to give sacrificially and in service to the other. This struggle is present in relationships ranging from familial to friendships and unfortunately; our marriages are not immune from the epidemic of selfishness, contempt and brokenness. Our cultural context reflects back to us the hidden struggle every human being has to wrestle with, but in addition it does not always provide us with the tools to overcome and accomplish making the connections that are most vital for our relationships to thrive. 

DeAnza Spaulding counseling provides a safe place where couples can come and share their struggles without shame or judgment. It is a space, which strives to nurture each individual in the relationship and get to the root of the issues that each couple is facing.  I understand that each couple is as distinct and diverse as the next. There are no easy solutions for any couple, but the desire to work together towards understanding, compassion, communication and reconciliation is vital components in the counseling process.  My methods seek to challenge each person to be stretched and challenged toward a place of sacrifice and service to the other.  My counseling teaches each person to look at the deeper issues of one’s feelings, to identify those emotions and communicate them in a means that is productive and brings meaning to the relationship. It will teach couples to look at the reoccurring themes of their marriage in order to understand the underlying structure of their communication and how they relate to one another. Counseling assists each couple in creating a fresh atmosphere where mutual boundaries can be built that provides safety and nurtures trust in the relationship. Areas, which will be explored, include:

o Communication
o Gender differences
o Culture diversity
o Managing conflict
o Boundaries
o Reflective listening
o Future goals and dreams
o Fighting fair
o Identifying the root of each conflict
o Respect
o Interpersonal problems such as: depression, anxiety and physical illness
o Grieving and Healing
o Examining family history
o Finances
o Sexuality/Intimacy Issues